Animal Crackers: Ice Fishing

It was a bitterly cold day in Saskatchewan. A man went fishing and cut a hole in the ice. 2 hours later, he still hadn't caught anything. Then a young boy came along, cut a hole in the ice nearby, and proceeded to catch fish after fish.

Eventually the man went over to the boy and said, "I've been here for hours and haven't caught one fish. You come along, and in 30 minutes catch at least ten! What's your secret?"

The boy chortles and replies, "Roo raf roo reep ra rurms rarm."

"What?!"

The boy repeated, "Roo raf roo reep ra rurms rarm."

"I'm sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying."

The boy spat a wad of ugly brown slime into his hand and said, " You have to keep the worms warm!"

Animal Crackers: The Fish Shop

A man went into a fish shop carrying a trout under his arm, and asked, " Do you make fish cakes?"

"Yes sir, we certainly do. The best in the city."

"Good," said the man. "It's his birthday."

Animal Crackers: Bob the Bunny

One morning, Bob the Bunny escapes from a science lab.

He sees some other rabbits in a neighboring field and bounds over to them: "Hey guys, I've lived in a lab all my life. Can you show me what bunnies in the wild do?"

"Sure." they reply."We like to eat fresh carrots. Wanna try some?"
"Okay" So Bob hops over and munches down with the others.

After awhile he asks, "So, what else do bunnies do?"
"Well, when we get tired of carrots, we head over to the lettuce patch. Wanna come?"
"Sure," says Bob and hops over and indulges further.

"Wow, guys, lettuce is great."
"Glad you like it, bro, now let's go see what's in the next field."
"Man, I'd love to," says Bob, "but I gotta get back to the lab. I'm dying for a cigarette!"

Animal Crackers: Big Fish, Small Fish

Two friends, Colin and Joe, were in a restaurant and they both ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other.

Colin said, "Go ahead, Joe, help yourself."

"Right", said Joe, and quickly helped himself to the larger fish.

After a bit of a tense silence, Colin blurted out, "You know, Joe, if you had offered
me first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!"

"Well then," replied Joe, "what are you complaining about? That's what you got, didn't you?"

Animal Crackers: The Preacher & The Parrot

A preacher walks into a pet store and is drawn to a beautiful parrot. He decides to buy it.

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asks the preacher.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

Sure enough, when the preacher gently tugs the strings, the parrot performs beautifully.

"Marvelous!" says the preacher, "What happens if you pull both strings?"

The parrot screeches: "I fall off my perch, you fool!"